Want to Know What Someone Means? Ask!
April 30, 2008 |
You may remember when I introduced the concept of the Listing Conversation, as opposed to the traditional Listing Presentation. I hope that you have been conscientious about trying to engage your potential clients more, and not just talking at them.
You may be wondering, “Well, I want to have more conversation with my clients, but they just won’t talk to me. They won’t tell me what they really mean. If I could only get them to tell me what they really mean, then both our lives would be much better. How do I get them to tell me what they really mean?
I’m glad you asked. . .
Referees are Trained to Be Brief and Meaningful
As a basketball referee, interactions with coaches are entirely unavoidable. I know that, at some point during a game, I am going to have at least one interaction with each coach. Sometimes, these interactions are emotional (go figure).
When it comes to interaction with coaches, referees are trained to always keep two things in mind– Don’t initiate an exchange, and be brief when you do have to have one. As a basketball referee, the LAST thing I want to do is get into some sort of protracted conversation with a coach. The reasons for this are many, but most of them have to do with my own self-preservation. 
I can almost hear you thinking, “So if referees are trained not to have conversations, how are you supposed to help me have more conversations with my clients?”
Glad you asked. While, on the one hand, referees are trained to be brief, they are also trained to be very meaningful. When you are forced to be brief, you don’t have time to waste trying to figure things out. You need to know what the coach means so that you can properly address it.
The Question is the Best Weapon in a Conversation
One the most valuable lessons I have ever learned in officiating is to use the question to my advantage. Here’s a very common example that has saved my butt on more than one occasion:
COACH: C’mon ref, the foul count is 6-1 against us. What’s going on?
(This is a very common exchange between referees and coaches. Coaches always notice the foul count when it is not in their favor, especially when the spread is 3 or more fouls. NO ANSWER IN THE WORLD is going to satisfy the coach. In fact, the coach usually doesn’t want a response to this question, he is really just trying to vent frustration. Here is where the question is powerful. . .)
REF: What do you mean, coach?
(The response to THIS question determines how I would handle the situation. Without the answer to this question, I have no idea what the coach is after, so I have no idea how to appropriately respond. The coach might say this:)
COACH: They are killing us on that end, and we aren’t getting any calls.
(Such a response is common, and it is merely a show of frustration at a perceived lack of officiating consistency. No problem, I can just say. . .)
REF: I hear you coach, we’ll make sure we watch that action.
(Short, sweet, and everyone goes on their merry way. He has vented, and I have acknowledged it. End of story. A different answer from the coach would require a different response on my behalf. . .)
COACH: You guys have been missing calls all night! You’re terrible!
(The response to this one is easy. . .)
REF: TWEEEEET! Technical foul.
Without asking the coach for that initial explanation, there is no way to know what his true motives are, so you run the risk of acting inappropriately to the situation. Acting inappropriately can cause a lot of problems that are completely unavoidable. Had I reacted with an immediate technical foul, the coach would have every right to be upset, and so would my supervisor.
The simple act of asking another question can make a world of difference.
Applying the Lessons from Roundball to Real Estate
So now you know how referees use one simple question to get meaning out of their interactions with coaches. Obviously, this same technique can be applied to your interactions with potential clients, buyers or sellers.
I’m going to share with you how I think this technique can be used in another post on Friday. I would like to be able to use your input and suggestions in that post; it would be more beneficial if we could all learn from the experiences of each other.
So let’s all help each other out. Leave a comment on this post on how you might use a question to find out how to better meet the needs of your potential clients. Better yet, if you have a story you can share as to how you have approached these situations, let us know! If you don’t want to leave a comment, you can even email your suggestions or stories to me at Daniel [at] StrongTeamRealtors.com. I would love to be able to share YOUR input and insight.
So. . .what would YOU do? What questions would YOU ask, and WHY?
Comments
11 Responses to “Want to Know What Someone Means? Ask!”
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Disclaimer
My name is Daniel Rothamel. I am a licensed real estate agent in the Commonwealth of Virginia and a member of the National Association of REALTORS. As such, I adhere to a strict code of ethics and all laws with regard to equal housing, which is reflected in the content of this blog. My broker is Strong Team REALTORS, 86 Joshua Lane, Palmyra, VA 22963; (434) 589-5800. My VA Real Estate License number is 0225 077325. All of the opinions in this blog are mine, unless otherwise noted.
My favorite real estate question ever:
Why is [whatever] important to you?
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Cool post, Daniel. I usually provide some information about myself or the current real estate market conditions/stats to a potential client and then follow that up with: “so tell me your story?” At this point I have to make sure I listen and not interrupt.
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Great post!
“Tell me what a happy ending looks like for you.”
Follow that up with “Now tell me which part of that happy ending is most critical for you?”
Because inevitably the happy ending is “I want to sell this house in a week for a big ‘ol pile of money.”
“So, you want to sell your house quickly. You want to get the maximum dollar amount for your home. Which of these is most important to you.”
I always end up coming back to this conversation when we talk about lowering the price down the road.
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I always ask, “What is your best case scenario?” and get them to focus on the most important details to them. For some folks, timing is just as critical as pricing. Unless you ask the question, you may not find out what their biggest needs are.
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Sports, huh?
“So… why are you moving?”
Motivation is a key to everything you’ll be doing whether working with buyer or seller.
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I often ask “if X happened, would Y result have value to you?” i.e. if they are talking about keeping the same price, versus a price reduction, I ask if they reduced their price by X, thereby selling their home quicker and saving X, would the Y result be of value? yep.
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You guys are so creative/innovative with the video comments.
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